


i still hear your voice (in the traffic)

by virophilia



Category: BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Implied Relationships, Past Relationship(s), Post-Break Up, SUFFER WITH ME, and not proofread as always, basically just sayo being sad, because i like to Suffer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-17 09:00:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29097675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/virophilia/pseuds/virophilia
Summary: i know we weren't perfectbut i've never felt this way for no oneand i just can't imagine how you could be so okaynow that i'm gone
Relationships: Hikawa Sayo/Minato Yukina, Imai Lisa & Minato Yukina
Kudos: 18





	i still hear your voice (in the traffic)

**Author's Note:**

> yeah in case you couldn't tell the title and summary are from [drivers license](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmDBbnmKpqQ) by olivia rodrigo  
> i am sad and this is my coping mechanism

It was raining.

Sayo didn’t usually mind the rain, but today, it felt rather gloomy. Perhaps it was because she was driving past Minato Yukina’s house. She hadn’t even realised it until saw the silver car parked in the driveway. Her heart slammed against her chest, and she turned her head away, trying to focus on the road.

It seemed she had found herself driving down this road quite often. Not that she had any reason to, all it led to was a dead end for her to loop around and find her way back to the main roads. She used to have a reason to. But that was a long time ago. It felt like it was, anyway.

Ever since the disbandment of Roselia, the girls had kept in touch. Ako and Rinko had, inevitably, ended up together and were well-regarded as some of the best Neo Fantasy Online streamers. Lisa went on to become part of a popular fashion company, her clothing designs selling rather quickly. Yukina had continued to make music, though she did so in a far less flashy way, continuing to release it independently and avoiding public appearances.

As for Sayo, she decided to put away her guitar for good. It hadn’t been that way from the start, but now, she couldn’t pick it up without thinking of those days. The days that Roselia was still together, a tightly-knit group of friends who seemed inseparable. They continued to be that way for a few years after, but everything went sour one day.

It was a day Sayo did her best not to think about. She tried her hardest to shove it to the back of her brain, to ignore it, to tell herself it was okay and she should just move on. Though, thinking it was harder than actually doing it. It was her fault, and she had acknowledged that, she had accepted it in her heart. Still, why was it so hard to actually live in that reality?

When looping the end of the road, she considered dropping by. Maybe saying hello, that she just happened to be in the area, ask them how they were doing. But she didn’t. She hadn’t pulled into that driveway since that day, and she wasn’t sure if she could pull herself long enough to do it again. Instead, she drove by, hoping they couldn’t see her through the window. She could see them.

From the large window that showed off the fancy dining room, she could see Yukina and Lisa sharing dinner. Most likely made by Lisa, Yukina was no good in the kitchen. They were smiling. Sayo didn’t want to interrupt them. It would be rude to intrude without any real reason to do so. So, she kept driving.

There was once a time when she didn’t need to think up an excuse to visit. She would drive down that road intentionally, rather than showing up without thinking, and would park her car in the driveway. When she knocked on the door, Yukina would open the door, and a soft smile would fall upon her face. She would invite Sayo in, they would eat dinner together, and inevitably fall asleep together on the queen size bed that Yukina would never share with anyone else.

Those days were gone. They were gone when Yukina expressed that she wasn’t sure about their relationship, unsure of how they should handle it. Sayo had decided to push Yukina out completely, ignoring the calls and texts she would receive, and refusing to talk to Yukina. They just needed time apart, she thought. They needed time alone, to sort their thoughts. In her heart, she told herself they would drift back together in due time, resolve whatever the issue was, and be able to say “I love you” again without thinking much about it.

But Sayo was wrong.

On Yukina’s end, she took the silence as their relationship was over. When Sayo tried to return, tried to bring them back together, she found out that Yukina was with Lisa. No text saying she was, no indication that she had moved on. And so, they kept pushing one another further and further until eventually, there was nothing between them. Not even a casual friendship. Their built-up bond was destroyed, just like that.

Months went on, and Sayo tried to force herself through each stage of grief. She seemed to be stuck in depression. Acceptance didn’t come easy, no matter how much she tried to embrace it. Instead, all she met was regret for her actions, waking up in bed alone and her first thought going to Yukina. She hated it, but she couldn’t stop herself.

It followed her everywhere. On her way to work, while she was at work, on her way home, at the takeout place she found herself at quite often. And now, she was driving around Yukina’s neighbourhood, like an obsessive ex. She figured that might be what she was. After all, she was still in love. She would never love anyone the way she loved Yukina.

Her friends had tried to help her move on. Hina had taken her to a popular gay bar, but she couldn’t find the courage to try talking to anyone. Every girl who approached reminded her of Yukina, and the guilt of trying to use another person as a replacement overwhelmed her to the point of running away. Tsugumi offered to let Sayo work when she wasn’t busy with her day job, suggesting that baking might take her mind off things. As much as she appreciated the thought, it didn’t work. She already tried that at home and ended up a sobbing mess on her kitchen floor.

She was sure that everyone was fed up with her being unable to think about anything other than Yukina. So she did her best to avoid it. It never worked. Even on the drive, she could still hear Yukina’s voice calling for her. “Sayo, would you like to go to that one cafe?” “The one with cats?” She would say aloud to no one at all. Yukina would blush and nod, not acknowledging Sayo’s chuckle.

But when she looked over at her passenger seat, it was empty. There was no one there. She was alone in her car. If she went to that cafe, she would still be alone, staring at an empty seat across from her. While she swore she could feel Yukina nearby, it was just her mind playing tricks on her. Not that she could go back there, it would be far too painful.  
And when she returned home, she would retire to an empty bed, reaching out for nothing. The space that used to be occupied with one of her most trust confidants, her best friend and lover until the end, would be empty. That didn’t stop her from imagining silver hair with a hint of lilac, bright gold eyes staring into her soul. Hearing “I love you, Sayo,” followed by a smile before Sayo returned the words and they drifted to sleep.

She screamed.

She cried.

Hikawa Sayo was in love with Minato Yukina. Even if it was over, she was in love.

**Author's Note:**

> you can follow me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/kdhraiai) but only if you're cool enough


End file.
